On Mercury
by aBoOm-Un
Summary: ABANDONED. Two best friends, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto, have recently moved into Konoha University for college. However, this year will have more to meet the eye than just classes, especially because of the two girls in the dorm across from them.
1. New Year, New Friends, New HotTAYS

_**On Mercury**_

**Summary: Two best friends, Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto, have recently moved into Konoha University for their college years. However, this year will have more to meet the eye than just classes, especially because of the two girls in the dorm across from them.**

**Genre: Romance/Humor**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own. I do own this delightfully stupid, cliché and cheesy story, however.**

**Disclaimer 2: THIS IS AN AU FIC, THIS IS AN AU FIC, THIS IS AN AU FIC…**

**Oh, if you're wondering about the pairings, here's a list:**

**Major**

**Sasuke x Sakura**

**Naruto x Hinata**

**Minor**

**Neji x Tenten**

**Shikamaru x Temari**

**Chouji x Ino**

**Asuma x Kurenai**

**Jiraiya x Tsunade**

_By aBoOm-Un_

Chaos.

That's what it was.

Complete and utter chaos.

Well, who could blame them, actually?

It was the first year of college for many new students. Two however, were of extreme interest.

Uchiha Sasuke. The genius of his family; well, right after his older brother, Itachi. Long, ebony hair, with a duck's ass for the back. Dark, onyx eyes.

And nice, tight buns.

Uzumaki Naruto. The crazy, hyperactive one. A definite prankster. Artistic, as well. Spiked, blonde hair, that is reasonably long, and fell over his ears. Bright blue eyes.

Also with nice, tight buns.

These two were best friends, and together they were entering the best years of their life. Why are they the best years?

Because they can booze, and get girls pregnant without looking like a player. Idiot.

Why was it chaos?

Already, two people had gotten into a fight. There were two guys walking into the Campus when a dude from the side called one of them fat. Thus, it just kinda escalated from there.

Into an all-out brawl.

"I'm **NOT **fat!!" One of them yelled, throwing a wild punch at one of the young men. It landed square on his jaw, and he went sprawling to the ground. His lip began to bleed, and the dude gave the young man a murderous look.

"You're going **DOWN, **fatty."

He jumped to his feet and attempted to punch the man, but the fat one's friend stepped in the way, and delivered a square kick into his nards.

It was over.

"You cocky bastard!" The dude screamed, holding his nuts in pain, as he glared up at the two. "You're gonna go DOWN this term, fatty, nerd. Just you wait." Two of his friends lifted him to his feet, and carried him off. Sasuke and Naruto walked over to the two men, who were straightening up.

"That was one helluva fight, guys. You ok?" Naruto said, his blue eyes narrowed slightly, as if they were going to jump him or something.

The one classified as 'Nerd' smiled at him. "We're fine. They're just troublesome."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at him. "Who are you guys, anyway?"

'Nerd' opened his eyes in surprise. "Oh. I'm Nara Shikamaru, and this is Akimichi Chouji." He gestured over to 'Fatty', who had opened up a bag of potato chips. He nodded at them, and shoveled some chips down his throat.

Shikamaru grimaced and whispered, "He hates it when people call him fat."

"Maybe he should cut down on the chips, then." Naruto joked, punching Shikamaru on the arm. "You know what I'm saying, eh? Eh?!"

Shikamaru's eyes widened. Naruto raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Shikamaru placed his hand over his eyes, and muttered, "He heard."

"What?"

"_He heard__."_

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"Oh hell."

"Run…" Shikamaru muttered, his hand still over his eyes.

Naruto gritted his teeth. "WHAT is going o-"

He never got to finish. Chouji had begun to run after him, fist raised.

"I'm. NOT. Fat!!!"

"Arrrggghhh!"

Sasuke buried his face in his hands. Already Naruto had screwed up, and it wasn't even first term yet…

…

…

…

…

Naruto winced slightly as he held the icepack up to his head. Sasuke rolled his eyes at his friend, as Shikamaru sighed. Chouji had calmed down and helped out Naruto after he pounded him to a pulp, so thus, everything was back to normal between them again.

Well, Naruto had learnt his lesson to never, EVER call Chouji fat again.

Chouji kissed his knuckles, then looked over at Naruto and smiled at him. Naruto weakly smiled back, before slumping down in his chair, icepack in his lap.

Sasuke shook his head. Why was this idiot his friend, again?

Not long after, one of the professors walked up to the podium. Strangely enough, he had grey hair, and wore a mask. He was carrying a small orange book around.

_..! Wait a moment… Isn't that book that porn book? Icha Icha Paradise? _Sasuke thought to himself, frowning at the man. Damn, he could already tell this was going to be the freakiest 4 years of his life.

The man put the book away, and coughed twice. The babble in the auditorium instantly died away, and he then began to talk into the microphone.

"Erm, yes. I'm Hatake Kakashi, Professor of Science. Welcome to a new year of College, those who have been before, and those who haven't…Yeah."

Sasuke and Shikamaru both sweatdropped. If this was their _SCIENCE _professor, God knows what the rest would be like.

Kakashi sighed, and opened up his book again. "I take it you all know where your classes are, since you came to the Transition Day. If you didn't, tough luck."

Sasuke frowned. _Shouldn't they show us around anyway? I've got no idea where to go._

"Yeah, that's it. Classes will start tomorrow. Until then, I'll give you your dorm keys and room number."

He pulled out a large sheet of names. "Room 1. Midori Setsuna, Suikou Kagura."

Two young girls stood up, and walked down to where Kakashi stood. Kakashi handed them some keys, and the two walked off.

…

…

…

…

"Room 232; Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto."

Sasuke's ears perked up. It was about bloody time their names were called. He gave Naruto a shove, and his best friend rose from his seat, and the two left the isle. He walked over to Kakashi, and he slipped them a set of keys.

"Don't lose them." He murmured, giving Sasuke a pat on the back. Sasuke raised an eyebrow, but then nodded.

"Alright."

He grabbed the back of Naruto's shirt, and pulled him along back to their seats.

"Room 233; Haruno Sakura, Hyuuga Hinata."

Two young girls walked down towards Kakashi. These two girls caught the pair's eye, for all the wrong reasons.

For one, Sasuke was staring at one of them. She had bright, bubblegum pink hair, and vivid green eyes. She had a slight smile on her face, and her hips seemed to sway. Or Sasuke was a horndog. I can't tell.

The other one however, was less cute and instead, beautiful. She had long indigo hair, which fell down to her mid-back. Her eyes however, were white, and it made her look blind. She could be blind, though.

…Naruto's too thick to be able to tell.

Anyway, she was blushing slightly, and had a sweet smile on her face.

Kakashi slipped the pink-haired one a pair of keys, and told her something. The pink-haired one nodded and the two walked back to their seats, Sasuke and Naruto's eyes following them all the while.

Naruto licked his lips. "Check them out, bastard. Hotties are IN this year."

Sasuke couldn't bring himself to answer Naruto. Sure, they were pretty cute, but he didn't expect anything to come from it. Most hotties were vain, mind.

Sasuke sighed. "They aren't bad."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "What the hell do you mean, 'Aren't Bad'? They're hotties. Underlined. HOT.TAAAAAYS. Got it memorized, 'ttebayo?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Whatever. They can be Hot-taaaaaays if they want, but I stay away from vain girls who have nothing better to do than get pregnant with whatever guy they meet."

Naruto smirked at his best friend. "Haha. It's nearly over. They're only a couple more names."

"Room 236; Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji."

Naruto and Sasuke spun around to look at Shikamaru and Chouji, who were smiling at them. Naruto grinned at them, and Sasuke smirked slightly and nodded.

They went up to get their keys, and after a bit…

"You are all dismissed!" Kakashi called out, walking away from the podium, porn novel in hand. Naruto, Sasuke, Shikamaru and Chouji all walked slowly out of the auditorium, chatting quietly to themselves as they left.

"See you around, loser." A boy called Kūchin called out, shoving Shikamaru in the back. Shikamaru stumbled forward, and spun around, glaring at Kūchin. He smirked at him, as his friends gave him a high-five. Chouji glared at the group of young men and began to roll up his sleeves, but Sasuke pushed his arm down.

"Don't bother. It'll only get people hurt." Sasuke muttered, keeping a firm grip on his triceps. Chouji glared at Sasuke, but then relaxed his arm. Sasuke was right; he would only get hurt.

He sighed, and lowered his fist. "Let's find our dorms."

Naruto, Sasuke and Shikamaru all nodded, and they set off up the stairs.

"So anyway, Shikamaru," Naruto started. "What stuff do you like?"

Sasuke resisted the urge to slap his forehead. Honestly, how queer did that sound?

"I enjoy puzzles," Shikamaru said slowly. "I have the IQ of over 200."

Sasuke and Naruto stared at Shikamaru stupendously. Shikamaru smirked, and Chouji grinned.

"Yeah, he's a genius. Beat that!"

"I can recite the alphabet backwards…" Naruto said slowly. "Does that get me brownie points?"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because."

"Bastard, you're not giving a reason."

"Do I have to?"

"Yeah."

"…I don't feel like it."

Naruto's jaw dropped. "Bastard! You're a lazy git, you know that?"

Sasuke shrugged, combing a hand through his hair. "Hn. I'm aware."

"Why would you want to be?! A lazy git is…well, a lazy git!! Erm, no offence, Shikamaru…" Naruto trailed off sheepishly, noting the look on Shikamaru's face.

Shikamaru sighed, and put his hands in his pockets. "I'm used to insults, retard. I'm not offended."

Naruto grinned sheepishly. "Yeah…So, where are the stairs, anyways?!" He said, his voice escalating with annoyance. Chouji shrugged, and pointed at two boys standing over by a door.

"We should ask them."

"Why them?" Shikamaru asked, eyebrow raised. "You know them?"

"No. But they look smart."

Sasuke snorted. "As if. They look like losers, if you ask me."

"We're losers, they're losers. What's the difference?" And with that thought, Shikamaru slowly shuffled over to them. He cleared his throat. "Ahem."

No response.

"_Ahem._"

Still no response.

"Hello?" Shikamaru tapped one of them on the shoulder. He spun around to look at Shikamaru, eyebrow raised.

"Yes…?" He answered, frowning balefully at Shikamaru. He had long, brown hair, and white eyes, a lot like that girl from before. He was wearing a plain tan-colored t-shirt, and some black pants. His white eyes were narrowed upon the lazy genius, but he soon smirked at him. "Oh, you're one of the newbies."

The other dude turned around, and even from where Naruto, Sasuke and Chouji were standing, they could see him. And it wasn't the prettiest sight.

He has really big, wide, circular eyes, which had a friendly sparkle to them. His hair was styled in a bowl-cut, and he was wearing a tight, green tee, along with some dark-blue pants.

"Hey there! I'm Rock Lee!" He said enthusiastically, shaking Shikamaru's hand vigorously. Shikamaru smiled weakly at him.

"H-Hi… Can you tell us where the stairs are?" He said weakly, eyes beginning to hurt from the sparklies coming out of his teeth.

"Sure!" Lee gave Shikamaru a thumbs up, along with a wink and grinning, showing off his über-shiny teeth and making a _Ping!_ing sound.

Sasuke sweatdropped. _"Oh God, why?! Why did we choose the weird College?!" _Sasuke shouted frantically in his head, punching himself for his own stupidity.

Chouji and Naruto looked at each other, beads of sweat rolling down their faces.

"Holy hell."

Lee put his arm around Shikamaru's shoulder, and with his free hand, pointed to the Campus' north-east corner. "THAT, my young friend, is where the stairs are located!" Lee said loudly, making a sweeping gesture with his hand.

Shikamaru winced, and murmured, "Cheers."

Lee took his arm off of Shikamaru's neck, causing Shikamaru to promptly fall to the floor, as Lee was pushing down on his shoulders as he gave his speech. The white-eyed young man rolled his eyes and held out a hand to help up Shikamaru. Shikamaru accepted it, and the man murmured, "Oh, by the way. I'm Hyuuga Neji."

Shikamaru nodded. "Nara Shikamaru. You're a Junior, correct?"

Neji nodded. "Yes. I got on the Dean's list as a Freshman, and I plan to again this year."

Chouji and Naruto ran over to Neji and Shikamaru, Sasuke strolling leisurely behind them. "Hi! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!" Naruto called out enthusiastically, waving at Neji and Lee.

Lee grinned, waved, and called out, "Hey Naruto!" Neji nodded at the two. When Sasuke walked over, he gave a small greeting.

"Hn."

"Hn."

Naruto gagged. It was an "Hn."-a-thon.

"Errr… Hn?"

Neji, Sasuke, Lee, Shikamaru and Chouji all stared at Naruto.

"What…the hell was that?!" Shikamaru said slowly, staring blankly at Naruto. Naruto grinned sheepishly, and rubbed the back of his head.

"Erm…I want to fit in?"

Chouji shook his head at him, along with Lee. Naruto shrugged.

"What?"

"Neji-san! Lee-san!"

A feminine voice called out. Neji and Lee looked around to see a tanned girl run up to them with a smile on her face, brown eyes sparkling.

She pulled the two boys into a hug. "I missed you guys! How have you been?"

"Just peachy, Tenten-chan!" Lee grinned, flashing a pose. Neji smiled slightly, and said, "I've been good, thanks. How about you?"

Tenten smiled. "I've been fine, Neji-san." She opened her mouth to say something else to Neji, but two girls interrupted her.

"Neji-sama! How was your break? How are you?" Two girls shoved Tenten out of the way, and began talking to Neji, fluttering their eyelashes, and flashing flirty smiles. Tenten glared at the two girls, and said coolly, "Welcome back, Suika. Ami."

The two girls looked behind, and smirked slightly. "Why hello, Tenten-chan. Barely noticed you there."

Suika smirked at Tenten, while Ami went back to Neji. "Sooo, Neji-sama… How was your break?" She smiled suggestively at him, and Neji frowned slightly.

"I think you owe Tenten an apology before I answer that."

Ami's smile dropped, and she opened her mouth to retaliate, but Neji held up a hand. "Apologize. Now."

Ami frowned, but then turned back to Tenten. "Sorry, Tenten-_chan_." She said coolly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. Tenten smirked at her.

"No problem, Ami-_chan._" She looked over Ami's shoulder at Neji. "Neji-san, I think you should answer Ami-chan now."

Neji rolled his eyes at Tenten, but put on a smile when Ami turned towards him. "Good thanks, Ami."

Ami grinned. "That's excellent, Neji-sama! I-"

"I s'pose I'll see you around then."

Ami's smile slightly dropped. "Yeah…Alright. Bye, Neji-sa-"

"Bye."

Ami walked off with Suika, looking crestfallen. However, when she thought she was out of earshot, she hissed to her best friend, "Why didn't he try to jump me?! It must be that whore Tenten!! She must of cursed him or something!"

The group blinked at the bitching girls, and coughed nervously. Neji raised an eyebrow. "You didn't drug me, Tenten…Did you?"

"Wha…? Oh, GOD no!! Neji!" Tenten gasped, waving her hands wildly. "No no no!" Relief washed over Neji, and he sighed.

"Thank God."

"Who do you take me for, Neji?! A FANGIRL? YOU'VE BEEN ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS FOR YEARS!!!!" Tenten shouted, shaking Neji violently by the shoulders. Naruto sweatdropped.

"Does she act like this often?" He murmured to Lee. Lee nodded.

"Tenten is very violent towards Neji-san and I. I have no idea why…"

Tenten was still shaking Neji roughly by the shoulders.

"I mean, I thought the youthfulness of a woman's seed only affected her once a month, but…"

**BANG.**

Neji had been sent flying across the courtyard, courtesy of Tenten.

"DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING THAT ON ME, HYUUGA!!"

Lee simply rolled his eyes as if he was used to it, but then continued to talk as if nothing happened. "…that means Tenten must be affected by the seed either more frequently, or more painfully than other women…"

Tenten stormed over to where Neji lay, picked him up again, and began shaking him roughly.

Lee put on a face of deep thinking. "…Wait, that can't be correct… If the seed released fifty times in one month that means something would be wrong with her…" Naruto sweatdropped. He was _used _to this?!

Sasuke, Shikamaru and Chouji were standing still, watching Tenten beat up Neji, blank looks on their faces.

Naruto stared, and nodded. "Yeah… Well, I best be off then…"

Lee smiled. "I'll see you around Campus, Naruto-san!" Naruto scuttled over to the other guys, who were watching Tenten and Neji.

Naruto, Shikamaru, Sasuke and Chouji looked at each other. Shikamaru murmured, "Should we help?"

"Nah…" Sasuke shook his head.

The four guys back away, and then ran North-East towards the stairs, leaving a deranged Tenten and half-dead Neji behind.

Lee put on a deep thinking pose, and began wondering about Tenten's 'seed of youth' again…

…

…

…

…

By the time Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru and Chouji had gotten up to their dorm rooms, they had ran into two other young men here for the first time. One was called Inuzuka Kiba, and the other was called Aburame Shino. Inuzuka had a doggy called Akamaru, and he had a thing for dogs. Not that way, but…Yeah.

Perverts.

Anyway, Aburame was the quiet type. Could hardly get a peep out of him. He wore a large coat, and he had a groovy, groovy afro. And he liked bugs.

Is _everybody_ a pervert? God.

They talked to them for a bit, and discovered they were in Room 209, one floor below them. Sasuke and Shino ended up having a staring contest (Which Shino won, by the way) and Naruto and Kiba discussing whatever popped to mind.

Namely, porn.

"Haha, Kakashi is such a perv!" Naruto grinned, looking Kiba straight in the eye. "Did you see what version it was?"

"Version 8!" Kiba nodded, smirking. "He must really like those books…"

Naruto and Kiba giggled a bit, Shikamaru watching in awe.

"Are they gay?" He murmured to Chouji, who shrugged helplessly as he watched the show. Sasuke was angsting about losing to Shino in the staring contest, so Shikamaru dragged them all off after Naruto and Kiba began to plot 'where Kakashi keeps his porn'…

The two guys walked over to their dorm rooms to unpack. Naruto nudged Sasuke and hissed, "Bastard, you have the key."

"Don't rush me, loser," Sasuke spat. "God."

Naruto frowned. "Just open the door. My arms are about to fall off…"

Sasuke frowned, but dropped his bags onto the floor, and reached into his pocket. He pulled out the key, and slid it into the lock. He kicked the door open, and picked up his bags. Naruto shoved him to the side, and walked past.

"Bastard," Sasuke mumbled, frowning at Naruto. He grinned in return, and threw his bags onto a bed.

"I bagsies this bed."

"Whatever…" Sasuke muttered, placing his bags onto the other bed. It was over in the far corner, while Naruto's was in the open, beside the window.

Naruto sat down onto his bed, and grinned. "Well bastard, let's go find us some ladies!"

Sasuke smirked. "I don't think I can complain about that."

Just after Sasuke said this, a loud giggle was heard, and some chatter from the dorm across from them. Sasuke looked at the closed door, and then smirked at his friend. "We won't have to go very far to get ladies, loser."

Naruto grinned evilly. "Mmm. Yum." He licked his lips, and rubbed his hands together. "Is that those girls we saw before?"

"Quite possibly. What, you have a fetish for girls with pink-hair and white eyes?"

"Possibly." Naruto smirked at him. "You **NEED **to find a girlfriend sooner or later, y'know. Why not start now?"

"I don't hook up with ANYONE, loser…Unlike you."

"Haha. Not funny, bastard. You're still a virgin, correct?"

Sasuke's eyes widened. He went slightly red, but then spat, "Because unlike YOU, I have dignity."

"Admit it, bastard. You're just jealous of my-" He sexily tossed his hair, "-Love-making abilities."

Sasuke frowned. "Oh yeah?! I bet you I could get a girl into bed before I'm a Junior. I guarantee!"

Naruto smirked. "You're on."

"Look, I'll start now!!" Sasuke said, voice rising in volume and tempo. He stood up and walked over to the door. He pushed it open, but when his eyes came to rest upon the girl in front of him, he stopped.

His dark orbs locked gaze with her sparkling green eyes.

It was at that moment Sasuke realized his years here would be very, _very_ fun.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to update as soon as possible.**

**Reviews make the world go round. **

…**And make me update quicker. xD**


	2. Welcome To Konoha High!

_**On Mercury; Part II**_

**Recap: Sasuke and Naruto moved in, and got their dorm key for Room 232. The met lots of the other guys, and Sasuke made a bet that he'd lose his virginity before he became a junior. He went out of his dorm room to run face to face with the pink-haired girl who captured his eye, who lives in the dorm across from them.**

**Genre: Romance/Humor**

**Disclaimer: Nah-Roo-Poh ≠ **aBoOm-Un

**Author Note: I am so, SO sorry you guys. You can blame Tash for this update, because she forced me off my ass and into gear. **

**Oh yeah, it's not spell-checked either. **

_By aBoOm-Un_

Sasuke blinked twice at the young woman. She raised an eyebrow and a nervous smile came upon her face.

"Can I help you?"

Sasuke gulped and held out a hand. "Hey. I'm Uchiha Sasuke."

Her eyebrows were in danger of disappearing into her hairline, but she shook his hand. "Hi. I'm Haruno Sakura…?"

Sasuke blinked; _what the hell was he doing_? He nervously coughed. "…Erm…So…"

"Hey there! I'm Uzumaki Naruto, what's your name?!"

Naruto went sprinting over to the other girl. She blushed slightly, and mumbled, "H-Hi."

The blonde grinned at her, and said loudly, "What's your name?"

"H-Hyuuga H-Hinata…" She mumbled, pressing her two pointer fingers together. Sasuke could barely make out what she said. "A-Are you new h-here t-too?"

"Yeah! I've met Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Lee, Neji, Tenten, a couple of other people. You're the most recent! Will you be my friend?" He added cheerfully, a grin plastered upon his face.

Hinata blinked. "Eh?"

The dark-haired young man hit his best friend over the head. "Idiot! You don't just run up to a person and ask them to be your friend!"

Sakura raised an eyebrow. "You know him?"

"Yeah…" Sasuke straightened up, and looked at Sakura dead in the eye. "I've known him for ages, and that's why he hangs around with me."

"Pfft. Bastard, if anything, YOU'RE the one that follows me around…"

"Loser, you kiss my ass."

"Your ass is for sitting, not for kissing, bastard."

"You wish, los-"

Sakura nervously cleared her throat. "We best be off…"

Sasuke blinked twice. "Oh, sure."

Sakura smiled at the dark-haired young man, "Alright, we best be off then. Erm…See you later?"

Sasuke raised his hand and managed to get out, "Bye!" when the two girls walked off down the hallway, muttering to the other. The dark-eyed young man spun around and glared at his best friend, who was watching the two females walk down the hallway away from them.

"She's pretty!" He said quite loudly, the silly grin still on his face. He then turned to his best friend, who was glaring at him. "And that other one isn't half bad, either!"

Sasuke's glare turned into a frown as he spun around just to see a quick glimpse of pink hair fly down the staircase. "Yeah…"

( - - - )

The duo soon after decided to go looking around, when they saw a weird looking guy sitting by a pond, a creepy smile on his face. There was a set of paints sitting next to him, and he had an art book sitting in his lap. Naruto stared at him as if he was some animal in a zoo, and the guy said quite loudly, "You're staring at me."

Now the two boys were both staring at the weird guy. He smiled and said to Naruto, "Do you even have a penis?"

Naruto twitched slightly and opened his mouth to yell at the boy, until his friend cut across him and said quickly, "Oi, who are you and why did you mention –his-," he gestured over at Naruto, who huffed slightly and frowned at his friend, "-penis?"

The guy just smiled. "Well, he doesn't look like a man."

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" Naruto screeched, pointing a finger at the guy. He simply shrugged and said, "I'm Sai."

Sasuke, while restraining his friend from viciously mauling Sai, managed to get out through gritted teeth, "It's-a-pleasure."

"See you around!" Sai smiled once more as Sasuke dragged Naruto off before he ripped a lamppost out of the ground and whacked Sai over the head with it.

"Dude, what the hell?!" Naruto by now had drool hanging out of his mouth, and he looked nothing short of a rabid dog. His friend hit him over the head, and hissed at him, "Stop drooling!!"

Naruto opened his mouth when a blonde girl when scurrying by. Naruto reached out and grabbed her arm, making her gasp and fall back.

"You!! Do you know him?!" Naruto pointed viciously at Sai, who was painting again. She looked up at him startled, while panting for breath.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. She was relatively pretty. Long blonde hair, bright blue eyes. "Ignore him. Why are you in such a rush…?" After he said so, he frowned to himself. He was seeming nosy…

The girl exhaled, and straightened up. "Who _ARE _you guys?"

Sasuke frowned slightly. "It's impolite to ask for someone's name without stating your own."

The girl sighed, blowing a bit of blonde hair up away from her face. "Yamanaka Ino. Now, who _are _you?"

Sasuke smirked slightly. "The name is Sasuke. Uchiha Sasuke."

Ino smiled slightly, locking gaze with him. "Hey, you're not half-bad."

Surprised, Sasuke opened his mouth to speak but Naruto cut him off. "OI!!! You don't know who I am!!"

"Godammit!! Don't yell in my ear!!" Ino backed away slightly, frowning at Naruto. She looked over at Sasuke, pointed her thumb towards Naruto and said in a somewhat angry tone, "Who is that loudmouth?"

"UZUMAKI NARUTO, 'TTEBAYO! Better than Sasuke in absolutely everything!! And I-" Naruto stopped short, because Ino was gone.

"…rock?"

Sasuke sniggered slightly. "God, you suck."

"No you!"

"That is so g-" Sasuke paused, staring over by the fountain. Sakura, Hinata, Tenten and Ino were all standing by the fountain, chatting and laughing. Sakura flicked her hair slightly, catching the sunlight-

"-Bastard? You there?"

"No…" Sasuke smiled lazily, leaning upon his best friends shoulder. "This is the best."

Naruto snickered slightly, before his eyes widened and he pointed at something on the Campus noticeboard. "Hey, hey, bastard. Look at this!"

Naruto grabbed Sasuke by the shoulders and steered him over to the noticeboard, where he poked a notice. "All Freshman to Campus; opening party. Tonight!" He grinned at his best friend, who simply raised an eyebrow. "Let's go to it!"

"Why, so we can learn about the Campus?"

"So you can flirt with that Sakura chick, duh!"

Sasuke paused. "I mean, face it dude," the blonde put his hands behind his neck, and looked up at the blue sky, "you haven't like, ever had a girlfriend. Wait a moment, let's process this," Naruto grinned as Sasuke fidgeted uncomfortably, a blush threatening to crawl onto his cheeks, "You're in College, never had a girlfriend, first kiss was accidental, and with a GUY, what next? Forty-year old virgin? No wait, I'm sorry; you'll be the DUDE WHO CAN'T GET LAID BEFORE HE'S A JUNIOR." The grin on Naruto's face was so wide, it looked as if his face was about to split in two. Sasuke flushed slightly, before gritting his teeth slightly.

"Loser, I assure you, _I will get laid_." Sasuke frowned at his friend, who simply smirked.

"Go for it, bastard."

( - - - )

Loud music blared throughout the gymnasium, combined with flashing lights and people dancing on the gym floor, squeaking against the shiny surface. Sasuke, Naruto, Shikamaru, Chouji, Kiba and Shino were all sitting on the side of the Gym, wincing everytime a pair of shoes squeaked against the floor, which ironically enough, was in time with the music.

Wince. Wince. Wince. Wince. Wince.

"Screw this," Kiba muttered, getting up from his seat, "If we're in college, we may as well enjoy it!!" With that final thought, he got up from his seat and started dancing with a nearby girl on the dancefloor, shoes squeaking loudly. Shikamaru winced, pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered under his breath, "_Troublesome_."

Chouji leant over towards Naruto and said, "Hey, Naruto. Check out that blonde chick!"

The two both looked over at Ino, who was dancing leisurely on the floor with her friends. Naruto grinned and said, "Not bad, not bad at all. Reckon I could pick her up with some good lines?"

Chouji's smile dropped off his face. "Erm, Nar-"

"Great! I'll go try it out now!"

Chouji frowned at Naruto's retreating back as he strolled onto the floor, shoes also squeaking.

"Hey, hey!! Ino!!"

Ino blinked and looked over her shoulder to see Naruto approaching, shoes squeaking. Rolling her eyes, she muttered to Hinata, "Oh no, another one!"

Hinata looked over at Naruto and felt her heart skip a beat. He was that one from before…

"_Will you be my friend?"_

"I…erm…" Hinata stammered, and Sakura gave her a weird look. _Was she talking to herself?_

"Hey, hey. Ino," Naruto grinned foxily at her, and put on a seductive tone, "Which one of the Spice Girls are _you_?"

The four girls stared blankly at Naruto, before Ino said slowly, "I'm-gonna-pretend-I-never-heard-that Spice."

Naruto sweatdropped slightly, realizing that his plan wasn't working. (Back in his seat, Chouji smirked at Naruto's obvious discomfort.) Scanning his mind for more lines, Naruto said slowly, "Well, then…How'd you like to…"

He paused for a moment, before grinning. "…_Butter _my _muffin_?"

Ino, Hinata, Tenten and Sakura blanched.

"Get away. Now." Ino folded her arms, and frowned at Naruto, who hurriedly ran back to his seat.

"SeeyoulaterIno!!"

Sakura rolled her eyes, while Hinata looked somewhat downcast.

( - - - )

"This…" Sasuke leant backwards on his chair, lazily looking around the gym, "…is the most boring event I have ever been to in my _life_."

"Agreed," Shikamaru drawled and frowned at Kiba, who was dancing on the floor with a couple of girls. "My ears hurt."

Naruto nudged Sasuke in the ribs, and pointed over at the group of girls. "Dare you to ask one of them to dance." Sasuke simply glared at his friend, who then started making chicken noises. "Bwaaaaaark!!"

Naruto laughed for a bit, and when he reopened his eyes, Sasuke was gone. "Buh?"

"_Ahem, _Sakura?"

Ino tapped her pink-haired friend on the shoulder. Sakura spun around to see Sasuke standing next to Ino, who had a large grin upon her face. "Sasuke here has something he wishes to ask you."

The blonde woman smirked at Sasuke, who frowned in return. He then turned to Sakura, a somewhat awkward look etched upon his face. "Errr…"

"BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK!"

That did it.

Sasuke simply grabbed Sakura's hand and pulled her onto a different part of the dancefloor, pulling her in close to start a small dance.

The two stared at each other for a moment, both unaware of what Sasuke just did. After a couple of awkward moments, Sakura sighed and said slowly, "…Why the hell not?"

The two wrapped their arms around each other and began dancing. Unfortunately, breaking this romantic moment, Sasuke found this particular activity quite difficult.

Namely, he just plain out sucks ass at dancing.

Effectively stepping on Sakura's feet about five times, Sakura eventually winced, pulled away and said quickly, "I-Think-I-Might-Leave-Now." Quickly running back to her friends, Sasuke felt a strange blow of embarrassment to…his…ego?

Naruto simply hooted and shouted loudly across the dancefloor, "You suck, bastard! You let her get away, because you suck so badly! You **SUCK!**"

Sasuke glared angrily at his so called 'best friend', feeling heat rise to his cheeks. He looked over at Sakura, who was back talking with her friends. After a bit of chatting, they all turned to look at the dark-haired boy, and giggled. Loudly.

Ooh, there goes that ego twinge again…

Sasuke flinched slightly, and caught Sakura's eye. She grinned sheepishly, giving Sasuke an almost apologetic look. The stated man frowned slightly, before turning around and heading back to his friends. He locked gaze with his so-called 'best friend', who simply grinned and poked his tongue out at him.

When Sasuke got back, Naruto was grinning so widely he resembled a clown. The dark-eyed prodigy fell backwards into his chair, screwing up his face and shutting his eyes tightly. When he reopened them, his blonde friend was standing in front of him, Naruto's face barely two inches from his own.

Sasuke glared at his friend, who grinned back. He was silent for a moment, before he sighed and said slowly, "…Idiot, don't even say anyth-"

"BANZAI!"

Sasuke never got to finish his sentence.

A nearby window in the Gym smashed, making the girls close by to it shriek in fear. A dark figure jumped through the smashed glass, with long, shaggy white hair hiding his face. With every person in the room now watching him, the figure raised its head and screamed, "Never fear, the Great Jiraiya-sama is here!!"

* * *

**BANZAI! Jiraiya enters the picture! What sort of trouble will he stir up? TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO FIND OUT!**

…**Which probably won't be for another five months.**


End file.
